Natural Instinct
by Kaiottic-Rawr
Summary: Koda struggles with her day to day life caring for her younger brother,going to school and dealing with her abusive father.What happens one day when she finds a photo,a photo that might lead her out of the dark tunnel she walks through.More summary inside
1. Prolouge

**AN-Warning rated M for later chapters,this story has abuse in it,so if you dont want to read it,turn back now **

**-And i don't own any rights to the twilight characters/story all rights go to SM,I only own the characters I made=D  
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**Summary**-His words,they always sting, like someone stabbed me in the heart, each word another needle another pin into the voodoo doll of my existence. So naturally I want to know if he loved either of these young men in this photo, to find out if it really is me. I want to know. Do I think I'm worthless; I can't even answer that question. I won't let myself dig that deep. I won't bring up the pain.

Its natural instinct.

This is a story about a girl trying to survive the harsh blows reality has dealt her.

Dakoda has barely any money, trying to support not only herself, her 2 year old brother aswell.

She struggles with her day to day life caring for her brother,going to school and dealing with her abusive father.

What happens when one day she comes across a photo,a photo that might lead her out of the dark tunnerl she walks through.

**Prologue**

I walked through the pouring rain scanning the area trying to spot the house in the picture. Hoping they didn't paint it or renovate it to a point that I wouldn't be able to recognize. I shivered pulling out the crinkled map from my pocket I had printed of the net. The water sending the ink trickling down the page, blurring the lines together making it barely readable. Suddenly glad I tried to memorise the street names on the bus trip here having nothing better to do I quickly put it back in my pocket as a lost cause. I was nervous to say the least. I mean I've come all the way to some unknown place, with little money, in search of some relatives I know nothing about and who know nothing about me .In hope that they will somehow bring me refuge from the harsh life I'm living.

I say I want refuge but at the same time I don't, I don't trust easily and know I won't just let myself get taken into a home full of strangers like its hunky-dory. I know the dangers out there and you never know what people are like or what's behind closed doors. I try and act tough and it works for me most the time but I can't stop my reactions to something's. The simple gesture of someone raising their hand makes me flinch. Anyone walking up behind me is in for some bruised ribs and I can't even help it, it's like my survival instincts kick in from the many times I really have had to use them. Situations that make me shrink away as if trying to hide myself and turn invisible, the thing is I don't even realise I'm doing it .Knowing I'm traumatised to the fact of being unconsciously conscious of the small things that happen around me, if that even makes sense. I am observant and don't even realise it, until all of a sudden I flinch out of nowhere as I catch a hand raising, bringing itself into whatever I was concentrating on and making it a priority to move. It's hard, when you're trying to forget but you can't. I always hoped my life away from home with my abusive sperm donor- non father could be a place I could pretend like nothing was wrong. For the most part it is but these small things they make it impossible to forget and I more likely just get an escaped for a few hours a day before going home.

One of the main reasons I'm here is because of Aden my baby brother, only 2 years of age. I have practically raised him, from birth, by myself and as much as I love him there is no way in hell that was easy for me .It was really hard. Hell _it is_ hard. I mean I'm 16 for Christ sake. I never had a mother of m own, Never had anyone to show me what to do, never had anyone love or care for me ,making it hard trying to love and care for him with emotions that I don't have much knowledge in. Meaning that when he was born I was are usually crucial years in a teenage girls life .Normal girls got to sit around chatting about the boy they like ,go shopping, throw parties ,go on dates, have their first kiss, worrying about what's in and what isn't. Just going about the daily life but I was looking after a baby...a frigen baby. Thank god for day-care .I mean hell I love my little brother with my life and have learnt what it's like to care for someone but if I didn't have day-care to put him in I would have been a drop out and god knows where I would of ended up. Why didn't the sperm donor of a father do anything, well that's a whole other story. I sighed running a hand through my blonde wet tangles. Pulling my hood tighter longing to find some extra resistance to the cold wind making my body twitch. I looked around finding the street name. I recognized the name meaning it was on my map which is always a good sign.

All these nervous are making me jittery and the cold isn't helping. I really was just hoping that even if there was a slim chance somewhere ,that I would find these people and they listen to me, that they would be willing to help bring Aiden up in a normal just hoping there not as fucked up as there sperm donor and they are kind people. Evan if they said yes to Aiden and know to me I would be happy .They don't need a traumatised, fucked up teen in their lives, but Aiden, he is young ,he is still innocent and can grow into a fine young boy, with a nice life. Man even if they said I could never see him again as long as he was safe for once I would be happy. If only I didn't have to worry about him and myself. If only I didn't have to constantly worry about when he would start getting treated like me.

I also wanted to find out if my so called father was always like this, or was it just me. I know he hated me for being a girl, he always wanted a boy. I'm a mistake, I'm ugly, I'm nothing, I should go die. Being told this my whole life; you would think I get use to it. But I never do. I never show the real pain, not wanting him to get any sick satisfaction from it. But I only ever wanted his love, his attention. I want to be able to wake up from a nightmare and feel his warm arms around me whispering it's alright but I just got a clip around the ear and abusive remarks. He is my father. My only man that helped bring me into this I wanted to please him and his words stung. They always sting, like someone stabbed me in the heart, each word another needle another pin into the voodoo doll of my existence. So naturally I want to know if he loved either of these young men in this photo, to find out if it really is me. I want to know. Do I think I'm worthless; I can't even answer that question. I won't let myself dig that deep. I won't bring up the pain.

Its natural instinct.

I quickly pick up my passé noting my destination is on the next street .I make my way around the corner and the house at the end of the street caches my eye immediately. I pull the folded polaroid out of the back of my jean pocket stoping to look down at the smiling faces .Just looking at the picture feels like I'm intruding on some happy memory .I lift it up into my line of vision extending my arm out so the picture is right next to the view of the house. I sit there comparing photo to reality concentrating on one as the other blurs our trying to pick faults. Not seeing any I come to the conclusion it's the right house. I can feel my heart hammering in my chest, the butterflies in my stomach going on rampage. A feeling of nausea goes over me making me stumble a bit .I quickly grab a tree to lean on just of the path before I bend over and empty the contents of my stomach .Panting trying to get my breath back I stand up and wipe my mouth. I lean my head on the wet tree trunk in hopes that the cold will soothe some of my anxiety .I can do this. I can do this. I kept mumbling to myself. Taking in a big breath I stand up straight and close my eyes before exhaling slowly. Determination filled my mind as I opened them and sent a hard look towards my goal of interest .Then slowly and steadily I took step by step towards my goal ,keeping up my mantra and bracing myself for whatever is to come .

Now the next question is, how do I convince two Native Americans that I'm there step sister, when I'm white, have blonde hair, ocean blue eyes and an Australian accent. Because just the idea in itself sounds absurd .So as my steps get closer, I'm preparing for battle. I wonder how many limbs I'm going to lose today.

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**AN**-**OK so this is my first story I'm publishing on FanFiction,so please bare with me, while I try and get this side of the sight sussed out=].Anyway I hope you like my Prologue ,this story came to me the other night and I was just inspired. I have a general idea were its going but would love for you to share your ideas and creative criticism .I'm sorry I don't have anyone to go over my work for me so if anyone's up for the job I'd love the help. So sorry for any mistakes and ill hope you will enjoy reading this as much as I will writing it.=D**

**I'm quite excited right now considering this is my first story up and I'm looking forward for my first reviews and alerts=]=]=].I'm Rating it M for now for future chapters while I consider how descriptive im going to be getting .Also just leaving the open rating makes it easier to write without boundaries in a sense.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

It's been 2 years since Julia died and it's the same routine but different day. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, a habit on which I got from my deceased step mother. I Look down at my fragile younger brother asleep on the couch ,his light innocent snores filling the air around him bring a sad smile to my face. Totally oblivious to the world around him and naive of the harsh life he is living.

Off-course I don't want him to live such a life as I have and that is why I do what I do. I want to protect him from what no one protected me from. I want to give him the love I was never given and show him right from wrong. Teach him how to brush his teeth and how to say his ABC, all the things I had to learn without a guardian.

My little brother Aden is 2 years old with green eyes and curly blonde hair. Julia died giving birth to him. I would never blame him for her death because he was all she ever wanted .The way she smiled when looking down at her swollen belly was beautiful and loving, the exact look you would expect from a mother. Sure she looked at me with love and care but there was always something missing. You just can't replace a child which is genetically yours. You see Julia wasn't my real mother but for the 2 yr s she was with us, she showed me more love and care then I ever thought was possible. I don't know who my real mother is or what happened to her.

I've lived with my father all my life but I wouldn't call him my father, he has never been a real father to me .I only wish that I had, had someone so happy about buying me cute clothes and someone who spent hours on end trying to make sure everything was perfect when I was born. There were so many times I would catch her staring of into the distance with a soft ,caring smile gracing her face, with both hands on her stomach just enjoying his presence.

I would catch her talking to him whenever she thought no one was looking. She would stay up singing him lullaby's and talking about his future .Telling him he better not bring any girls home to early or even boys depending on his preference .It doesn't matter to her she will love him all the same. Whenever I asked her how she was she would break into a smile and say she is fine, the sickness is worth it as long as he is healthy. The long and lengthy discussions I listened to just to please her was her just cooing all about her lovely little boy. How she knew he was going to be a boy was beyond me, but she was right and he is everything she ever wanted and spoke about.

Its sad how she only got to meet him once and he will never get to meet her. Yet in that split moment she sore him ,in that split moment...I sore everything , all the love and emotions you could imagine, It was like watching a movie full of someone else s dreams ,to say I was stunned would be a understatement. That was surly not natural of me. Julia died with a smile on her face after breathing her last words of " her beautiful baby boy" before falling into her eternal sleep.

After her death my father turned back to his old self not wanting to even look at his new son saying he was a killer and looked too much like his dead wife that it was disgusting, disgraceful even. Thus making me his guardian .I had made a promise to look after Aden months before he was born and I wasn't going to break it. I never thought the promise would entail this much but it was a promise nun the less.

He reminded me so much of her. Julia also had lovely dirty blonde curls and beautiful green eyes that seemed to just reach out and grab you, those eyes will probably be what I miss most and the comfort they shared. Sometimes she confused me with those eyes sending me knowing looks like she knew something I didn't but I never found out what.

I met Julia who I later called mum when I was 11. It was back when me and the old man were living in Australia, my birth place. Well I assume it's my birthplace, I've never seen my birth certificate but I'm pretty sure that's where I'm from. Sir, which is what I call my father, bought her home one night after being gone 3 days without a word. She was all smiles and laughter. I'd never seen someone look so happy .As soon as she spotted me cleaning the floors, the first thing she did was smile even brighter and the second thing she did shocked me. She got on her hands and knees introduced herself and started scrubbing with me. Sir seemed to be a bit shocked at this reaction as well as he tried to per sway her to sit down and relax, that I had it all under control. Yet she just kept insisting she was fine and cleaning is more fun when you're not doing it on your own.

From that day on she came over more often and sir seemed a lot happier and more merciful especially when she was around .He stopped hitting me as often and in less obvious places not wanting her to find out his dangerous tendencies. I was worried he was going to do to her what he did to me but he never did. He showed her the love I wish I got and the care I was never given. In some ways I guess I resented her for getting what I always wanted but never thought about it too much seeing as she was the only person to ever show me a real constant concern.

After being together for 6 months they both decided to move to America, sir's home country. I had no say in the matter but was brought along like the rest of the furniture with no complaints in fear of a beating. Sadly leaving the few other children I associated with heading towards a big scary place I new nothing about.

I didn't have many possessions just the necessities like clothing, a pair of shoes and the one thing I treasured with my life, my guitar. The precious memory of which receiving I will always hold dear. I was given the guitar when I was 5 and proceeded to hide it from my father ever since .I managed to hide it in Julia's cupboard in the hope of getting to it first when we arrived and finding a new place for it. I have a feeling she might have secretly known about it considering the many times she looked the other way or distracted sir with unnecessary things giving me my escape, but she never mentioned it. I think I only got away with it for so long before the help of Julia was because Sir's interest in me was next to nothing .The only time he would associate me as his daughter was for the pretense of my school not finding out and getting him in trouble with the government, which would surly cause him some amount of jail time.

The first 6 months in this country were hard for me to adjust to. The new schooling system being one. The unwanted attention from my classmates, because of my accent another. Not just school but getting use to having a female figure in the house and letting someone care for me. They were all new experiences. Sir still kept me in line and never held back on the harsh comments when Julia wasn't around. But for the 2 years she was with us I had my first real birthday, celebrated my first Christmas and learned that there is such thing as love. I also learn t that good things always come to an end.

The end of birthday/ Christmas beatings from sir making me immobile for a few days. Having to fake sick so no one would suspect anything. Holding Back the longed for tears. It was hard...It still is. Sir always beat me when Julia ever bought me something or he thought she showed me too much care. Bringing me back to the reality of my life and what I really was..nothing. Even though her kind gestures brought me physical pain I have never regretted the time we spent together and will never forget it.

Honestly even though sir beat me real bad on these occasions just the fact I didn't have to worry about his grim ways when her presence was near was also something I longed for again. Now that she is gone, that certainly isn't the case. The saddest thing that came to an end though was her life. I was never informed of her fragile health in the last months of her pregnancy, I didn't notice any change in her behavior and I think that is the way she wanted it. That was the only time I remember ever crying for someone else.

A sudden a gargling noise brought me back to the present. Looking to the noise I spotted Aden dribbling and making sucking noises on the couch still deep in his dreamland. I cracked a smile when he blew a bubble with his saliva. I must have been standing here a while lost in my own thoughts. I shook my head. _Right bed_ I thought to myself.

I quietly picked him up of the couch and brought him upstairs into our room laying him down in his crib. He quickly snuggled into his favorite blanket and pulled his Mr. Teddy tight or Mr. T as I like to call him. Seconds later I could hear his light snores again giving me the okay to go back downstairs.

Looking around our small house it was filthy and the furniture was really old. The only decent things in the house were Aden's and that's because Julia pre brought them all before he was born. I spotted the broom in the corner of the room and decided I should give a quick clean before Sir stumbled home drunk ,most likely screaming abuse at me for making a mess. I snorted, ye_ a mess of bear bottles, porn mags, cigarette buds and take out. Off-course it's my mess...it always is_.

After taking out the trash and recycling enough bottles to save the world I decided to call it a night. I had school tomorrow and have to get up extra early to get Aden ready for day-care. I trudged my way up the stairs and ninja'd my way into the room to grab my pajamas and bathroom key of the end of my bed without waking the little bro. I skilfully passed my mission and found myself under the warm spray of my shower head which I believe has its own magical orchestra going on inside. Definitely full of tone death fairies with no sense of rhythm. The warmth of the water relaxed my tensed muscles and in these few minutes of solitude, I escape the world around me and just focus on the warmth enveloping me.

Tonight my shower is short lived as I hear banging and cussing downstairs. Sir is home. I quickly jump out the shower and don't even bother drying as I fling my huge T-shirt on and baggy sweat pants. I quickly grab the key of the side and the rest of my things knowing I won't be able to brush my teeth tonight.

I lock the bathroom door before quietly making my way back into my room. I put my things away and start to hop into bed only hoping that the loathsome man will leave me alone tonight. The springs of my old mattress creak making me freeze. I feel my stomach drop. I can hear my heart beat quicken. My hands make fists in my shirt as fear roles over me. _Please don't hear; please don't hear._ I chant in my head. Thankfully my prayers were answered and I hear him settle down probably passed out on the couch. I release a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding before lightly lowering myself down onto the bed. Leaving me just one monster to fight tonight, my dreams.

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**A/N-So this is my first chapter after the prologue. I was hoping to let everyone in on the basic insight of her past and off-course there are some finer details I left out. But in due time they will come. I was going to wait till Wednesday to put this up but decided to give it to you early so I can get started on my next chapter seeing as I don't have Tafe tomorrow which aka means I got plenty of time.=].**

**I'm pretty sure I told all of my reviewers how ridiculously excited I got over there reviews and its true, it's like candy I'm loving it ahahaha=]. Even though everyone liked my Prologue I'm happy with the story line of it but the mistakes in it irritated me to know end. For some reason there were parts in there were some sentences were meshed together and words taken out. Which is really weird considering that it was fine in my word doc and I corrected it like 50 times but it didn't work .Every time I previewed it they were there and it kind of bummed me out cause I wanted it to be perfect. I know how even one spelling mistake can bring you out of the whole story. I'd appreciate if one of use could tell me if it's just my computer or that really has happened .like one part was **

- Meaning that when he was born I was are usually crucial years in a teenage girls life . Which is meant to be- **Meaning that when he was born I was 14. Those are usually crucial years in a teenage girls life.**

**Another is**- I really was just hoping that even if there was a slim chance somewhere ,that I would find these people and they listen to me, that they would be willing to help bring Aden up in a normal just hoping there not as fucked up as there sperm donor and they are kind people.- **cause whoa that is one long sentence**.- **I really was just hoping that even if there was a slim chance somewhere I would find these people and they listen to me, that they would be willing to help ****bring Aden up in a normal environment. I'm just hoping there not as fucked up as there sperm donor and they are kind people.**

**And one other I picked up** - He is my father. My only man that helped bring me into this I wanted to please him and his words stung.- **He is my father. My only relative. The man that helped bring me into this world. Offcource I wanted to please him and his words stung.**

**Sorry I know long A/N but I wanted to clear that up just because it irked me so bad and im really hoping it doesn't happen to this chapter .I have checked it a good 5 times so if it does im sorry ill try and fix it. Also sorry to one reviewer who I might have accidentally sent a half reply to my computer decided to have a spazz and send when I wasn't finished. BUT anyway lol after my rant I would just like to say thanks again and don't hesitate to throw ideas at me if you have any and by all means ask questions then I know what I haven't covered and can make sure I do.**

**=3 until next time 3=P –Kaiottic-Rawr-**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I woke up the next morning to my name being called.

"Kodaaaaa...koda...KooOoOoddaahahah...DIKODAAAAAA" It was Daniel, my best friends beautiful Texan accent that was calling my name. He decided that he wanted to be the voice to wake me up every morning so he custom made my alarm tone. He changes it every now and then and I wake up to cussing in my ear and sexual innuendos. You could imagine my surprise the first time he did it, I went from what-the-fuck is that, to oh-my-god that dick and started laughing my arse of until I cried. It was the first time I recall ever laughing so hard. But today, today he is just being an idiot.

"Kodanaterrrrrrrr...hurrry uppppp and get up...you know you wanna come see my beautiful face in the morning it sure will brighten your day" I could hear the cheery smugness in his voice. "ohhhh! And if you're getting changed right now film it for me...come onnnnnnn ...Don't be a prude..I'm your best friend" he wined in a kiddie tone. "Hmmm what about if I show you mine you show me yours" he said with a big laugh booming through the phone. I couldn't help but smile at his stupid antics. As much as I will never admit , his morning wake ups do really brighten my mood and I know he knows it, but offcourse like I said, I'd never admit it.

I quickly turned off his rambling and made sure to save a copy of it in another file. He could delete it whenever to do his next one and I wouldn't get to hear it all. Throwing the covers of from over my head I braced myself for the cold. I shivered sitting up bringing my blanket back to my chin as the cold air kissed my back. I searched for my phone under the covers bringing it back out from where I last placed it to check the time. The light from the phone making me groan and squint my eyes. _5:30am_ blinked back at me, the light sending everything in our room to shadows. I sighed flopping back down, sprawling myself across the bed staring at the ceiling. As much as I would love to stay in bed I have to get up .I yawned and stretched stepping out of bed. The cold floorboards sending a piercing chill through my body. "Brrrr" I mumbled rubbing my arms.

I got dressed in a flash pulling on my old black skinny jeans with a few holes at the knees, a simple singlet, some chucks and a faded navy blue jumper that Daniel gave me. Glancing at myself in the mirror I sighed. My fairly pale skin sticking out from the darkness of my clothing. Slight bags under my ocean blue eyes. The skinnies bringing out my nicely shaped legs, probably the only thing that reminds people I'm female. My thick shoulder length blonde hair always seeming to resemble bed hair or sex hair as Daniel likes to call it. I ran my hands through it a few times making it look semi reasonable not wanting people to really think it is sex hair, I just have a natural scruffy look going on.

I woke Aden up lifting him out of his crib and sitting him on my bed. He sat there obediently with hooded eyes still half asleep rapped in his little blanket while I got his clothes for him. After I got him changed and ready it was 6 o'clock. I gave him his Mr.T to play with while I scoped downstairs. I had to make sure the coast was clear and it was okay to bring him down and make breakfast. Sir wasn't there but I could see his trail of mess leading to his room, making me angry. _Why does he have to be such an inconsiderate slob. He is a grown man for Christ sake. _I made note to clean it up later after school.

I opened my fridge to see what I could make when a horrible rotten smell made me scrunch my nose. It didn't look like there was anything edible in there except the butter. "Toast it is then" I grumbled to myself. Searching the cupboards I found my Vegemite and made us Vegemite on toast. Just because he is brought up in America doesn't mean I'm going to let him miss out on my childhood favourite. We ate breakfast and I got our things together whilst Aden watched cartoons. By the time I was ready to leave it was 7 o'clock. Normal kids would be getting up about now but I liked to get up and out ahead of Sir to stop any incidences occurring. I smile to myself as I watch Aden tentavily stare at the screen of the TV with sleep still prominent in his hair and body gesture. Walking over to pick him up, he looks up at me and smiles such a sweet innocent smile.

"Kowda" he said while stretching his arms out for me. I lifted him into my embrace hugging him tightly as if to make sure he never went away. His small body bringing warmth to my soul.

"I don't know what I would ever do if I lost you" I mumbled as I kissed him on the head. When it really comes down to it ,I think the only reason I'm still sane is for his sake, the only reason I haven't gotten into drugs or anything bad like that is because of my love for him and the knowledge that he loves me and relies on my existence . "Love you little boy"

"wuv wu tbru"I smiled at his attempt of whatever the last word was meant to be.

"Ready to go little one" I said as I grabbed our stuff with him in my arms and headed out the door. I buckled him into the bike seat and made sure his helmet was on right before heading to the day care. Miss Andrew was waiting for us out front with a big smile on her face. She is an elderly lady, early 50's I think. She has big warm brown eyes and caring features. She has always had her own style of clothing going on making her unique. Her wavy shoulder length brown hair slightly greying showing her age and giving her an aura of wisdom about her.

"How are my two favourite customers" she said jokingly as I pulled up beside her slightly puffed.

"This is a day-care Miss A not a shop" I smiled. "You make it sound like the black market of human trafficking and I'm coming in to sell you my next victim" I laughed. She cooed at Aden and got him out of his seat for me.

"Aww well we couldn't sell this little guy he is just to adorable with his little blonde curls, lovely tanned skin and green eyes, he sure will be a ladies' man when he gets older" She said in a mater-of-fact kinda way making me chuckle. Aden was the lucky one receiving Sir's tanned skin, making his blonde hair and green eyes just show all the more.

"Yeah he's gonna be bringing them home and I'm gonna be throwing them out" I joked.

"Good girl looking after your brother you better sit out the front with a big stick and make sure you hit them hard for me wont you" she winked at me.

"I sure will Miss A, I sure will" I said with a gleam in my eye.

"Would you like to come in for your daily hot chocolate, we don't start for another hour and I sure would like some company" Miss A said with a caring tone I just couldn't deny. I bet she knew it, because she did this to me most mornings. I have a feeling she knows more than she lets on. She is a very caring woman and lets me bring Aden in early and stay behind late for less than the average amount of money. I only have to pay a little bit of money here and there because Julia already payed Miss A 3 years' worth knowing that when he was born she would also have to work to bring in the needed extra money.

"Sure Miss A, I would love to"

It was 8 o'clock I had spent a whole hour here with Miss A just talking about miniscule things. It was nice to have a normal conversation and to have an adult who treated me like an equal. She even insisted on checking over my homework with me and helped me with some of my science. She was just a nice lady in general and she really helps me out a lot. She has offered countless of times to look after Aden if I need her to and to call her if I'm in trouble. She has put up with my stubbornness when it comes to certain things and my awkward excuses. Most days of the week when I come pick Aden up she will give me food and insist I take it because she made too much. Always saying she forgets that she lives by herself now and old habits die hard. I'm very grateful of her and her kindness and I know I will have to repay her one day.

"Well I better be of for school, I'll see you later" I said getting up from the floor where I had been playing with building blocks. Miss A stood with me promising to take good care of my little brother. Aden quickly jumped towards me.

"Hug" he said with excited eyes. I smiled down at him and lifted him into the air spinning us around before pulling him into my arms making him giggle. When I put him down he accidentally held my sleeve pushing it up my arm revealing a large bruise from previous days before .I quickly pulled it down before flicking my eyes over to Miss A who had a sad look in her eyes. I said quick goodbye's before practically sprinting for the door.

"Oh! Don't forget your guitar. I left it in my office. The door is open so you can grab it on the way out." Miss Andrew called after me. I nodded my thanks as I scooped up my bag and jogged towards her office, grabbing my guitar before walking the rest of the way to school, leaving my bike at the day-care.

I got to school 10 minutes early giving me time to lock my guitar in the music room before heading off to English. I made my way into the classroom with plenty time to spare, I take my usual seat at the back right with the window. I briefly notice that the desks have been changed into rows of twos instead of fours. I snorted. _The terrible foursomes aren't going to like this. Now how are they going to text each other during class about hair and makeup when there is a gaping 60 cm gap splitting them. Hmmm I hope the fall in. _I sat there for a few minutes imagining there amusing demise before someone plopping down beside me brought me out of my trance. I glance over and see Brady. He is wearing his usual attire skinny jeans, white undershirt with a v-neck jumper over the top, converse and his ray bans.

"Hey" He mumbles shyly at me whilst pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Hey Brade's" I nod back at him casually.

Brady is Native American, his beautiful russet skin and chocolate brown eyes being a dead giveaway. He is tall as well. A good 6 ft and growing but apparently not that tall compared to some people back in his home town. He sighed heavily before slouching down in his chair a sad look crossing his face.

"Still hasn't replied" I ask slouching down and leaning towards him trying to keep the conversation hush hush while the other students start making their way in.

"No" he says full of defeat. I can't help but frown and curse under my breath. I entwine our fingers under the desk in a show of comfort unsure of what else to do. He throws a crooked grin my way that didn't quite reach his eyes before accepting my hand. Luckily he is left handed and I am right letting us keep them together for the rest of the lesson. I rubbed small circles on the back of his hand for the remainder of English stealing looks at him hoping to catch a smile but he just looked so bummed I didn't know what else to say.

The bell rang signaling the end of class. I gathered my things together shoving them in my bag before heading out the door with Brade's. I patted him on the back telling him to cheer up and ill see him later. I accidentally bumped into Gemma one of the terrible four in the process of leaving making her books go everywhere. She just scoffed at me shouting bitch and stormed of leaving her posy to pick up her stuff.

"Woops" I said trying to hide my amusement as her friends stared daggers at me. Brady ruffled my hair laughing throwing 'thanks' over his shoulder with a wave. I groaned at him but smiled none the less, watching his retrieving chuckling figure walk down the hall. It was good to see him laugh and if it was at my expense I think I could live with it.

I'm sitting in math class just staring out the window as the teacher drowns on about trigonometry. Why I am in the low class is beyond me considering I'm acing it. I can't help but worry about Brady he misses home so much and had to leave everything behind to come here. In our little group of musketeers consisting of Daniel, Brady and myself we all have a weird bond. We all have our own problems and sad stories but we don't dwell on it. Our little group is more like our way of getting through it.

Brady is the newest member to our group. He came to us last year when we were all sophomores. His story is just as bad as ours. His father is an angry drunk who would beat him, but when he was sober he would always apologize and become the loving father again until his next session. That made it hard on Brady because he wasn't given enough time to build up the hate, his father came and broke it down with apologize. I assume like me all he wanted was to please his father, taking the beatings just so he could indulge in the time after when his father was more caring. In the end it gave him unhealthy thoughts. Leaving him longing for the beatings just for the after affects. The poor kid got pretty twisted in the process and he knows it. His mum died when he was young and that's when his dad turned on the abusive nature. Yet in the end all he wanted was for the time before she died, the happiness that existed then and in the end that's what the beatings meant to him. The beatings were a necessary act to get back what he lost. You would think he would realize he was getting abused but at the time he just didn't want to accept his dad's change, he wanted to remember him as the loving father he always knew.

Not only did he have an abusive father but he had to go through the hard time of realizing his sexuality. That was something he really didn't want to except at first. He fell in love with his best friend Collin but didn't want to admit it to himself. So he spent a good 2 months sleeping around with different girls becoming a right player and a notorious jerk. His friend didn't understand what was wrong with him making the sudden change of behaviour especially because he was usually shy and would rarely talk to people he didn't know. It was safe to say when his friend also found out he was doing drugs to get through it all things came out the closet, literally.

**A/N- So wow second chapter in one day I'm on a role ahaha .There is just something about this story that has me glued to the screen trying to get it all out of my head. I mean most my ideas come from my dreams so I'm not joking when I say this takes up a lot of my time =]. I have to say I love my music and it's very inspiring to me. The song creep by Radiohead and some my chemical romance songs like I'm Not Okay were on a loop during this chapter and I'm hoping to bring them into the story. I'm pretty interested in what songs this story made you play so hit me up I'm curio use and might put them in as well=P. **

**Ok so I know everyone wants to know who is in the photo butttttt your going to have to wait some more because the next chapters is also introducing people .You will hear more about Brady, find out about Daniel and how they met. I really wanted to keep writing this chapter but if it gets to long I won't have any chapter's lol so sorry.**

**I really hope you like my Brady and hopefully my Daniel. I really like the Brady character I have made I mean in my mind I just want to squeeze the poor kid till he dies. But yeah anyway ahahaha . Please review, reviews are my babies, my motivation and I also like hearing peoples input so don't hold back and really tell me what you think I love hearing it. And again ask questions they help me out =].**

**Ahhh and yet again another ranting A/N I know I'm sorry but this is all so exciting to me, I hope people actually read and THANK YOU all who favorited, most people did even the few non reviewers which made me superrrr happy considering this is my fist story and most favourited my first chapter so yer thanks for sharing the love.  
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**=3 until next time 3=P –Kaiottic-Rawr-**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Brady like all of us tends to keep the finer details to himself. Why? Well we all have good reasons for trust issues but that's not it. Personally I don't want to because ...well why would I want to relive my bad experiences. Sure they both know the basics of my life but I'm not going to sit there and detail how hard my father wiped me across the back with his belt last and I think the same goes to them.

In Brady's case as much as he longs for home...well more specifically Collin, he is doing the best in the injury department. Daniel and I only got to see Brades injuries from his father when he first moved here to live with his aunt. Now he is away from him he only has to put up with his emotional scarring. If he does get hurt it's usually from dickhead jocks who decide a good gay bashing is in need. That's how Daniel and I first found him. Fending off a bunch of guys corned behind the library. He was actually doing pretty well, managing to get in some good punches but 3 against one is ridiculously unfair and with his already injured body fresh from the hospital they definitely weren't making it easy on him.

I think that was the first time I saw Daniel in action. Daniel is the same height as Brady; he has beautiful deep ocean blue eyes, tanned skin and blonde dreadlocks that go up to his chin, which he usually has a beanie or bandanna on holding it back. There nice dreads to not like some of the ones you see that are just big clumps of mattered hair, his were professionally done making them all alike. I knew his army sergeant father Mr. Whitlock taught him how to fight but...well just ...whoa.

Daniel is a great guy, the nicest I've ever met, which I guess isn't really hard considering but, well...just whoa. I swear he went ninja assassin on those douche bags. There were punches flying everywhere. He did these cool take down combinations. First was the basic kick in the groin, knee in the face which he taught me later on that day. The second was some jujitsu crap right there, with all the grabbing of arms, twisting it a certain way, making them fall to the ground and pulling it out of the socket, electing a decently high pitched cry from the now victim. Also last but not least he managed to doge a few hits making his way behind this last guy before getting him in some headlock making him pass out. I didn't even get time to think about helping out, he is a speedy mother.

That was also the first time I saw him snap. I was honestly scared. He kept going at them even when they were on the ground. I swear he was possessed. If it was anyone else I would have run for my life, but it was Daniel, my best friend. I swallowed my fear and I went and stopped him. How I did it, I don't even remember but I ended up with some decent bruising. Brady told me later on that I somehow managed to bear hug him in an attempt to stop his arms. Making me bare the brunt to a few blows and I practically climbed up him like a koala using my weight, arms and legs to hold him back. That's were my nickname came from.

He tripped bringing us down. I landed on top of him as he lay sprawled out on the ground, he was trying to regain his breathing after the big 'oonnff' he let out when I landed on his stomach. I put my hands on the side of his face turning it and franticly checking him for injury. He wasn't moving which made me panic. I was worried if he hit his head to hard and a million other things went through my head as I started to shake him. He still didn't respond worrying me times five as I called out to him. In the end I just got mad at his unresponsiveness and punched him in the chest really hard yelling insults before taking a few deep breaths to calm down.

I hugged his head to my chest raising him slightly off the ground and kept mumbling idiot, stupid idiot over and over again. I was scared not an unfamiliar feeling but it was displaced in the fact it wasn't for myself. After a few seconds I felt arms wrap around my back holding me in a tight embrace. I mumbled one last idiot before hiding my face in the crook of his neck. I was array of emotions I didn't understand. The racing of my heart wasn't helping me, I really just felt like hugging him just to assure me he really was ok. He sat up with me in his lap rubbing my back up and down comfortingly. When it came down to it I just wanted to be angry at the jerk for scaring my like that. I could feel his warm breath tickling my neck as we just sat there for a few minutes in each other's embrace.

It sounded like one of those loving moments you read about in books and see in movies but it wasn't because Daniel went and ruined it by...well just being Daniel. He started rocking me in his lap holding me tight while singing some cheesy song definitely breaking the tension. First it was slow but then he went all out.

_You're just too good to be true.  
Can't keep my eyes off you.  
You feel like heaven to touch.  
I wanna hold you so much.  
At long last love has arrived  
And I thank God I'm alive.  
You're just too good to be true.  
Can't take my eyes off you._

He over exaggerated it and everything making me look into his eyes and shit. I swear he really is a idiot but I couldn't stay mad at him so with a big groan and another punch in the shoulder I was laughing again, the stress from earlier gone as I listened to him recite the rest of the song with stupid arm movements emphasizing the cheesy lyrics. He was back to normal, his other self caged inside him again.

God knows how the teachers didn't hear the commotion. I mean come on I was swearing loudly and everything. Then again it was during class and we were kind of truanting but still you would think. After all it was probably better them not finding us because then we didn't have to go through the troubles of explaining ourselves and punishments.

The three of us helped each other to the nurse's office. The jocks had already made their leave during Danny's lovely solo probably on their way to the hospital. I know I would be if my arm was pushed out its socket. In the nurse's office we helped bandage each other up, mainly Brady I only had a few large bruises on my arms and stomach which Danny kept repeatedly apologizing for. I could tell what he done to me hurt him real bad, but I never said anything and let him fuss over me to help mend his guilt. I know he has a fear of becoming like his father and this was a scary awakening. Later on that night I woke up to him climbing through my window half naked with tears streaking his face. The moonlight reflecting the discoloured patches of skin on his tanned body. I didn't ask questions but just let him crawl into bed with me as he cried silent tears into my shoulder clinging onto me as if he thought I was just going to break.

After that day Brady joined our little group and we all became fast friends. Thus leaving me here to worry about him. When Brades friend Collin found out about the drugs there was a huge fist fight, tears mixed with blood and blood mixed with raw emotions. Turns out Brady wasn't the only one finding it hard to cope. Collin was reciprocating the same feelings; confusion, fear, anger, jealousy they were on loop with him as well. He was really upset because his sweat innocent Brady lost his innocence to a girl he doesn't even remember the name of and jealous because he wasn't a girl so Brady wouldn't look at him that way. All the testosterone in the air must of just made them both snap cause Brades tells it saying that they both just went from punching to yelling and then to hot passionate making out. I kinda laughed at that and told him he needs to learn to keep it in the pants and stop pulling it out at inappropriate moments. Making a joke about how he probably would jump the guy even when his grandma was there. Which just got me on the receiving end of a crusty. He messed up my hair really good. I'm not sure what is up with the boys and doing that. Brades said the next 6 months after that fight were the best of his life. Filled with many innocent touches and stolen glances as they hid their secret from the world. His own story of forbidden love. No one thought any different when Brady stopped his rebellious ways and started hanging around Collin again.

They started dating immediately in secret. It was all going great until Brady's dad found out. He caught them in Brady's room after their first time of making love. He went on a frenzy braking things and cursing words that can never be taken back. Collin new that Brade's dad was bad but he hadn't realized how bad. Brady had to yell at Collin to go, while for the first time in his life he fought back, he fought back for the one he loved. I have to say I'm proud of him. Standing up to his dad after all that time. He didn't just sit there and take it like all the other times. He fought even when he knew the perfect bubble he and Collin were in had burst and things will never be the same. He still fought back.

He never told us how bad he was beaten but me and Daniel new it was the worst seeing as he was in hospital for a few weeks. I mean we could still see the after effects when we first found him behind the library. Bruised lips and bandaged arms. It wasn't a shock to us and we didn't ask any questions. Which I think is why he bonded with us so fast because we all just had an understanding. He told us his story when he was comfortable and we listened. Collin and Brady had an emotional goodbye before he left promising to keep in contact all the time and that they would never forget each other. Collin kept his promise all of sophomore year but a few weeks into Junior he just stopped. It's been a good 2 months and still nothing. Brady has called, texted and emailed him a thousand times but no reply. He even mailed him a few letters. He sent him apologize unsure if he did something wrong. He is eating away at himself from the inside out. Every week it gets harder and harder for me and Daniel to pull him out of his spiralling depression. We are always caching him looking at his phone and how excited he gets when he feels it go of only to find it was someone else bringing him back down. If I ever meet this kid I will surely give him a piece of my mind. I don't even care how afraid I might be in the process I will and he will be in pain.

The rest of the day went by in a blur. I was stuck in my own little world. Lunch just consisted of Daniel and Brady both wondering how I can still be a healthy weight with a healthy figure yet only eat like a mouse. A common topic at lunch time considering Brady eats like it's his last day and Daniel just loves his food. There are some strange things about me I'm not even sure about so I just ignored their bantering and tuned out.

I sighed. Its finally last period and I have music my favourite subject. I couldn't wait to play my guitar it was my outlet. It helped me forget the bad things and just live in the music. It was my main expression, my left hand. They guys said they always know when something is wrong just by the way I play and that I play like its attached to my body. I have music class with them both but in this class we all keep to ourselves. We tend to get stuck in our own little world. Danny plays guitar and bass, Brady plays guitar and drums and I play guitar and piano. Our assignment at the moment is to write and compose our own song but if you're finished your aloud to play around until due date. The boys and I headed to the music room in a comfortable silence the sound of the students around us filling the air.

We filled into the classroom with the other kids and took our respected seats at the back. After the teacher came in and did the role we got to start our practice session.

"It's your turn Daniel" I said with a grin making him groan.

"Aww come on it's not my turn I so did it last time" He wined

"No you didn't I did" Retorted Brady.

Daniel just huffed and dragged himself to the back room to grab our guitars; he came back with 3 and didn't hesitate on acting all dramatic like they were super heavy. I just laughed at him before taking my baby from his arms. We had a deal every lesson one of us would get the guitars because it was really annoying trying to get in and out with every other student doing the same. So we figured why should we all suffer. Most the time though one of them makes a excuse to why they are waiting right out the door to lend me a hand, usually saying they just couldn't wait cause I'm to slow but I know they mean well. I tuned out after a while, laying out all my emotions onto the fret. I let the notes sound through my body, the melody flow through my blood stream. The calm serenity bringing me to a somewhat peaceful state as my fingers made love to my guitar with crisp precision. In these moments I can let myself go.

The rest of the week went similarly going by in a blur of time and colour. It was like looking out a car window with the landscape rushing by not giving you time to focus ...that was until Friday.

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**A/N- yes I know, I know, who are the people in the photo when are they coming in, soon real soon in the next 2 chapters kinda soon. But yer I know these chapters have just been a lot of history and intro's but its needed I haven't even told Daniels story yet but for the sake of the story moving on faster I will add it in along the way. I wonder if any of you caught onto his last name =P. I tried to show some of their bonding in this chapter and I hope you like the characters so far. If not well...my bad lol tell me what you don't like I'll see what I can do yer. So tell me what you thought about this chapter am I going ok so far? Also again what music were you listening to whilst reading or what came to mind I'm curious. I personally had a lot of Damien Rice playing. Thanks to the people who gave me reviews I still get excited I don't think that will ever go away. Don't hold back your opinions and questions like I said they help me. =D**

**Anyway like? Dont like? Hit me up.**

**=3 Until next time 3 =P –Kaiottic-Rawr-**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It's 7 o'clock and I'm running around trying to get Aden ready for day-care. I woke up late this morning after a rough night of sleep. I had a night terror again and was only happy to know Sir hadn't come home last night to witness it.

It wasn't unusual for me to have nightmares; in fact it is a common occurrence. I can wake up 2-3 times a night in a cold sweat trying to forget the images flashing through my mind. In most cases I wake myself up, my body jolting as a reaction. My dreams seeming to replay my most fearful moments, re-experiencing the pain and raw emotions I had tried so hard to push away; Fear, stress, anxiety and panic building up needing an escape. It's almost like I'm not allowed to forget. Maybe its punishment, maybe god is mad at me for being so worthless, I don't know... I must have done something wrong; maybe that's why my mum didn't want me. She must have really hated me to leave me with such an awful man. Maybe she thought I was as awful as him, born with the burden of my father's sins.

I internally sighed brushing the hair out of my face as I put my socks on. I could feel my mood dampen as thoughts of my mother came to mind, a heavy feeling making its way into my stomach, all the unanswered questions leaving me disheartened and confused. I shook my head, dispelling myself doubt for now as I continued in ponder.

Nightmares are scary but they are nothing compared to night terrors. Night terrors like the name states are terrifying. I have never been able to remember what I was dreaming about to cause such panic, all I remember is everything spinning and a lot of red flashing, but I can never make the pictures out in my head. I always get a nasty gut feeling whilst sleeping and when I wake up I just can't calm down.

I have woken up screaming before, thrashing about; my heart beating so fast it rings in my ears. My breathing comes out in laboured breaths and I'm just not coherent to the world around me. I don't even think I could explain to someone what it's like. On a few occasions I have woken up in strange places. Once when I was young I remember waking up in the middle of the bush with no recollection of getting there. I was so scared, it was still dark out and I remember just running and running. That was the day I met the man who gave me my guitar.

I didn't wake up in a strange place last night but woke up to Aden's crying. I must have fallen back to sleep and once my body had calmed down it let the outside world back in. When I woke up my bed sheets were in tangle, pillows thrown across the room and the books on my box night stand knocked over. Aden must have been frightened. That thought alone cut deep. He was scared of me; I scared him just like that man scares me. I never ever wanted to be like that man but I guess you can't escape genetics.

He was crying my name as I got up pulling him into my arms whispering words of comfort. He soon fell asleep clinging onto me for dear life. I don't know how he manages to have such a strong grip in his sleep but he does, so I slept the remainder of the night with him in my bed. He seemed happier this morning after waking me up with bright smiles and cute laughter, apparently poking my face and making funny noises is amusing, I couldn't help but smile back at him.

Now that I think about it...where is Aden. I'm sure I set him down in front of the T.V only a few minutes ago. I stand up and scan the room. Where is that child hiding? Walking around, I check behind the couch, under the table, in the kitchen, in the kitchen cabinets and in small laundry, I can't find him. I feel a swell of panic rise in me.

"Aden...Adennn...ADEN" I yell as I franticly search the remainder of the house for him. I hear a sudden bang and I run towards the noise. I stop outsides Sirs door which is slightly ajar. I go to grab the handle but freeze mid-step, my hand a hairs length away from the handle but I can't grasp it as if it's repelling me. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"_**Don't you**__ EVER, EVER go into my room again__**, you hear me**__. DON'T EVEN think about it or __**I will**__ punish you 10 times the amount I punished you today,__** understand!**__" _ Sirs voice echoed through my mind his words still fresh after so long, filled with so much venom and hissed with so much anger I could still feel it rolling of him.

I dropped to my knees suddenly feeling weak. My breaths started coming out uneven as I felt the panic set in_. I can't go in, I can't_. I squeezed my eyes closed. _I will be punished, I'm not aloud._ _Sir will get mad. He will hurt me._ I started shaking, the images of what past disobedience cost me burning in my mind, wincing as I relived the pain. I could feel the tears stinging at my eyes, my hands fisted on the floor as I started heaving. _Heat...flashing...Searing pain...blood...bruising...tears...glass...red... red...Slicing._ The last word echoed through my mind making me gasp, I brought a shaky hand back between my shoulder blades. My fingertips ran along the long jagged scar down my back, the raised skin slightly cooler than the rest making me shudder.

I felt sick, sick to the stomach. I could feel the vile coming up my throat as I reached for a rubbish bag filled with bottles, accidently knocking some out in my haste. I threw up the contents of my stomach a few times leaving me panting for air. I took some deep calm breaths ,regulating my breathing before the awful smell from the bag reminded me making me drive heave a few times. I tied the bag up quickly pushing it away, the contents making watery sounds causing me too gag a little. I wiped my mouth before taking calming breaths again.

I slowly turned my eyes up at the daunting door before me. The handle looked down at me with intimidation. I could hear shuffling inside bringing me back to Aden. I heard a sniffle making my emotions flicker. I swang the door forward and hastily made my way into the room. Aden was sitting on the floor outside of a closet his back facing me. There were box's fallen over ; pictures and papers scatted everywhere.

"Aden" I said with concern.

He jumped, startled a bit his head turning in my direction. His face and body held fear and confusion it looked so wrong on his young features. As soon as he sore it was me he started crying.

"Kowda" he sobbed stretching his hands out for me.

I picked him up and brought him to my chest my hand stroking his head as I bopped him up and down totally forgetting about my previous emotion coaster. He slowly relaxed in my arms as I continued stroking his hair.

"sowy sowy" He mumbled through sobs .

"It's ok, It was an accident, your fine, I'll look after you" I whispered words of reassurance in his ear trying to sooth his tears.

I felt anger build up inside me at the fact he was scared of getting in trouble over something so minor and insignificant. Yet shame because I couldn't change anything. His cries slowly quietened down into sniffles and hiccups.

"Are you okay baby" I asked him quietly patting his back reassuringly.

He looked up at me with puffy eyes sniffling.

"Yes" he said with a hiccup making me smile down at him.

"You got the hiccups huh little boy" I said in a happy tone trying to lighten the mood with a distraction.

He hiccuped again then looked shocked for a second finally realizing what he was doing. He hiccuped making his body jump a bit before smiling obviously entertained by the action. He continued this a bit longer before breaking out in cute giggles his little dimples showing on his tear stained cheeks. Smiling down at him, happy he is feeling better I brought my attention back to where we were.

_I'm standing in Sir's room with his stuff scattered all around the floor _I thought to myself as I gulped. I could feel the fear trying to make its way through my veins as I stood there in shock. _What do I do?_ I've never seen inside Sir's room before. I took this moment to take in my surroundings. Aden stayed in my arms his untainted laughter filling the air around us totally unaware of the situation.

The morning light shone in through the window next to the bed casting the walls in light shadows. The morning breeze blew the curtains open ruffling some of the paper on the floor. The fresh air a relief from the stale smell the room was giving of. He has a queen size bed up against the wall bellow the window. The black sheets were in a heap on the end of his bed, his pillows sprawled at the top. His things looked relatively new and were a lot cleaner then I imagined. The only real mess was the pile of clothes next to the door and the now scattered belongings on the floor. I don't understand why his room is so clean considering the rest of the house and how he treats it. There were a few empty shot glasses on his bedside table next to an empty vodka bottle and some cigarette buds. _His room is relatively plain_ I thought to myself.

I placed Aden down on the bed as he entertained himself with his still going hiccups._ I better clean this up. _I got on my hands and knees and lifted the fallen boxes back up. There were 3 and the first 2 had fallen down. The bottom box had something pink poking out of it. Out of curiosity I lifted the lid only to wish I hadn't as many pairs of panties stared back at me. _Oh god_ I shudder that's why the room is clean. I put the lid back on as fast as I took it off before grabbing the second box and piling the paper in trying to un see what I just sore.

I pilled the rest of the papers in trying to keep my curiosity to myself as something caught my eye. I lifted it of the ground trying to un-crease the lines making it readable. It was an old photo copy of a deed to a house, I scanned down the page noting Sir's signature at the bottom. Looking at the date it was a good 10 years before I was born at some place called La push. Maybe that's were he is from making him Quileute, I new he was native but never new to what tribe. That means I'm part Quileute. I couldn't help but get a big smile on my face at this new revelation. I found comfort in knowing were some of my roots lay like when you find a piece of a puzzle you lost, the happy feeling you get knowing that little bit more about the bigger picture.

I finished packing the second box my mood a lot more carefree still happy revealing in my latest find. The last box was a bit smaller and held many pictures, mostly Polaroids. I couldn't help but look at each one hoping they would reveal something new. Most were old photos filled with young adult faces of people I had never met before probably from the same reservation. Some bent and faded making it hard to see.

There was one picture with Sir and another man who wasn't Native American it had our old Australian house in the background, but there was something about the other man which just made me shiver. I put the picture in the box with the others trying to rid myself of the eerie feeling.

Stretching under the bed I scooped up the last few I could find. Flipping them over I noticed something considerably different to the rest. They were new, like a few years old or less kind of new. The first on was a shot of a teenage boy with long black hair walking down the street oblivious to the camera pointed in his direction. He was looking off into the distance with his school bag slung on his shoulder he had such a loving look on his face it made me wonder what he was looking at. The next picture dated about the same time I'm guessing, was a shot of a younger boy , maybe a freshman walking out of school he had a smile on his face as he saluted to his friends over his shoulder whilst getting into a white car. He had the same Quileute features as the older boy russet skin, black hair I couldn't quite see either of their eye colours seeing as they were shot from a distance. The first boy was more masculine were as this boy was lankier. I frowned, why does Sir have pictures of these young boys? Shaking my head I continued looking.

The next picture looked newer then the last and was of the first boy again or should I say man. I had to double take he looked so different now but you could tell it was him. He gave of a leading vibe, holding his head high and shoulders back, yet he held sadness in his eyes like he lost something precious to him. He was standing shirtless in the rain with short hair staring towards the camera, looking but not seeing. His lips were pulled into a hard line as he stood there his burrows frowned. If I didn't know any better I would say he was angry but there was something about his eyes that gave away his sorrow. His eyes looked somewhat familiar but I couldn't quite pick it. They were dark brown with specks of black through them. I put that picture next to his other one on the floor as I reached for the second last one.

This one was of the lanky boy again but...well like the last he wasn't lanky anymore. You could see the muscles through his shirt now, he looked a lot taller and sported the same new hair cut as the older boy. He was standing with another muscled boy who had his back to the camera, who from behind looked slightly older. The once lanky boy looked annoyed, the feature for some reason felt strange to see on his face. He was standing next to a black truck, some cliffs off in the distance. His eyes like the older boys in the photos before looked sad but it was a different kind of sad it was like he was holding something deep inside him that he wanted to let out. He reminded me of Aden for some reason just the way his face looks with that expression. His eyes looked strangely similar to the first boys but his were more chocolate brown with flicks of black through them not dark brown. Now that I compare them they have a few similarities, maybe they are brothers.

I sighed, what the hell Sir is doing taking pictures of a couple of brothers, brothers who look like they are on steroids in fact. There was something really strange about this and not just the fact a grown man is taking pictures of young unsuspecting boys. I get the feeling I'm missing something and its right in front of me I just can't grasp it. Like the last, I put down the non-lanky boys picture next to his other one before grabbing the last one.

This picture looks the most recent. It's in really good condition. It's an old styled Polaroid with 6 people in it. The Background is sunny, giving everything a healthy glow and there is a little old house in the background with a cute stone path through the garden to the front door. It looks really homey like a place you would dream about or a nice place where you could sit in front of the fire with a hot chocolate without a care in the world. A flicker of envy goes through me but it quickly passes as I observe the rest of the photograph.

They look really happy with big goofy grins on their faces, pushing each other around playfully with bunny ears and looser signs. One of the older boys has a younger one in a headlock on the ground laughing at his attempts to escape. My eyes are drawn to the older male on the floor for a second longer but I quickly move on forgetting my curiosity. They all seem genuinely happy and I feel like I'm somewhat intruding in their memory. Two of the guys in the photo stand out to me as I look closer. The older one standing on the edge with his arm around the younger's shoulder ...they are the boys from the photos. Standing next to each other I can pick the subtle similarities.

I would think it was a perfect photo but for some reason Sir has gone and written names on some of the boys with a fine liner pen. '_Black_' is written on the young boy in a headlock. '_Reid_' is written on the older male holding him and the two guys on the edge have one name written across both their chests.

'_Uley_'...

Like Joshua Uley.

My mind stares blankly at the image in front of me, unmoving my whole body slowly churns to a slow halt. So many emotions serge through my body all at once I'm left with just a numb buzzing like white noise in the background.

I don't understand.

The words echo through my mind bouncing of the now blank walls leaving me with a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel the familiar sting in my eyes as the erg to blink makes its way to the surface. I hold off for along as I can knowing as soon as I let the simplest motion slip through everything will come crashing down. So I sit here still staring, still unmoving, willing my natural instincts away, wishing, and hoping naively that I could win this inner battle. But like always natural instincts win and my eyelids close quickly soothing the dry burn. My thoughts go from nothing to frantic in a split second. My body's starts shaking and my head begins to ache. I keep my eyes closed, clenching them tightly. I grip the photo in my hand as I slowly pry my eyes open, staring at the now crinkled photograph.

I don't understand.

'_Your __disgusting__, you dirty little __slut__!'_

'_If you were a boy I wouldn't have to punish you' _

'_If __you__ were a __**boy!**__'_

'_If only **YOU** were a __**fucking**__ BOY!__' _

'**_Dirty_**_ Defiled Whore__ like your __**Bitch **__of a __**Mother**__!'_

'_Accident'_

'_MISTAKE'_

'_**Ugly **__'_

'_Stupid__ '_

'_Weak'_

'_A shame to **MY** last name'_

His harsh words looped through my head, each word ripping open healing wounds, the pain just as real as when first spoken. I couldn't help but let out a strangled cry an attempt at keeping a sob at bay. If he already had son's why he is so angry.

I...It just doesn't make sense.

Did they do something wrong to, is that why? But he has 3 sons already yet he still condemns me for not being one. How can we all be bad? But he has gone out of his way to take photos of these two boys, does that mean he cares? He must care to some extent he doesn't have any photo's of me and Aden. These boys must mean something to him in some way otherwise he wouldn't have practically stalked them. Does he still see them? I'm guessing not considering the fact they don't know about the photo's, or do they? I mean this last photo has them all looking at the camera, which means they all know him or maybe...maybe he stole the photo. Yeah he must have stolen it I mean why else would he hide from them in the others.

So they are my older brothers? Or are we the same age? I'm guessing older but not buy too much. If we are close to age does that mean he abandoned them? I mean we were in Australia my whole child hood so, wouldn't that mean he was only around for a few years with them or...maybe that's were he would disappear to. He has gone for a few weeks with no explanation before leaving just some money to survive. It's not an unusual act, but why would he go see them after abandoning them. It just doesn't make sense. Was he a good father to them?

Did he love them?

Why would he go spy on them if they were failures like me? Does that mean they aren't failures, but then why would he have abandoned them? Unless he has another reason for stalking them down, but what other reasons are there. He has never mentioned anything about them ever; does that mean he never wanted me to know? Maybe he thinks ill taint them or something. What are they like?

Do they even no I exist?

Most likely not, but if they did...would they like me? I wonder if they are like him, if so...Will they hate me as well? I wonder what their life is like. Do they have families? If they do, does that mean I have family? Aden has family. I wonder if we have any of the same habits or if they have the same birthmark as me. If they found out I existed could I maybe...be...

I quickly shake my head, false hope is the worst hope and I don't want to go down that road.

All I know now is I'm part Quileute.

I have 2 older brothers who know nothing about my existence.

I know now where my father has been spending some of his absences.

And I also know that in reality this changes nothing. My life stays exactly the same. I'm still stuck in this hell with my father; I still have to look after Aden all by myself. I still have no idea who my mother is and now I have a thousand more unanswered questions.

The rumbling of a car in the drive brings me back to reality. I turn my head to the direction of the noise, Oh shit. Without a second glance I throw the pictures back into the box franticly except one I slide into my back pocket before putting the box back in place. I hear the ignition turn of and the car door slam. Shit, shit, shit I rant to myself. I scan the room everything is the same. I hear the keys jingling in the front door and for the first time am happy about how crappy the lock is. My hearts beating like mad for what seems like the millionth time this morning. I grab Aden and put my finger to my lips to hush him. He does what he is told and I run out of Sir's room shutting his door quietly. "Fuck" He grumbles to himself banging the door a bit.

I swing my bag over my shoulder and Aden's, they slip down a bit but I push them back up fast in my haste. I grab my cons and bee line it to the back door without looking back. I curse to myself as I drop my shoe trying to open the door. I quickly get outside just in time grabbing my shoe and closing the door as I see the front door open. I jump to my side my back against the wall as I hear his thudding footsteps go down the front hall. I hear the rattling keys hit the table with a clunk and Sir's grunt as his body hits the couch. Shit, I left the T.V on.

Aden lets out a small noise making me slap my hand on his mouth and freeze. I listen for a response but get nothing but the T.V's buzz. Sighing I look up at Aden, confusion evident in his features.

"Bad man" I whisper to him slowly taking my hand of his mouth.

"Daddy" He whispers back. I look at him with a sad smile.

"yeah Daddy"

I can't really tell him not to call him daddy; he technically is and is too young to understand why I don't call him such. He already gets confused when I try and explain I'm not his mum I'm his sister. Sometimes he breaks out crying, fighting me saying I'm mum not Koda or sis. In those moments I feel so lost and wish I could ask someone for advice but I have no one to ask. How do you explain to a 2 year old he has no mum ...you just can't he won't understand so I have to leave him confused. That's not something I'm proud of at all.

I went to take a step but was met with sharp stab to the foot. I hissed quietly to trying to hold back the painful cry and curses. I held on to Aden tight not wanting to drop him as I felt the stabbing pain shoot up my foot. I looked down leaning my weight on the wall. I had stepped on a smashed beer bottle and had a few shards of glass sticking into my foot. My faded blue socks started to stain red as the warm liquid trickled out dripping on the sand below. This is another one of those times I'm glad I'm use to worse pain as bad as that sounds. I hear Sir get off the couch and head towards the bathroom. I don't have time for this; I'll have to take the glass out later.

Taking a deep breath I lift Aden up on my hip more before sneaking around the corner of the house to my Bike. I had to get Aden to crawl under a bush, while I got full force of it, the branches scraping at me as I pushed past trying to keep quiet. I managed to come out alive with only a few more scratches. I walk on the heal of my injured foot to not put any weight on the shards. I sat Aden into his seat making sure he was buckled in right with his helmet on tight before plopping onto the ground. Pulling my foot into my lap it really doesn't look good. Now there is sand stuck all over my sock that's slowly changing colour. The metallic smell hit my nostrils making me gag a bit. I don't know why but for some reason my senses seem to be slightly sharper than others at times, normal people can't smell blood but I definitely can and it's really off-putting.

Breathing deeply in and out a few times I will myself to pull out the glass. On the forth intake of air I grab the biggest piece and pull it out fast, hoping for the bandaid effect 'the faster you do it, the less it hurts'. It hurt, it hurt like a bitch but I kept my mouth shut. I pull out the rest fast trying not to think about it. I took of my sock once blue now red and ringed it out. The dirt and blood making a blackish colour drop to the ground. I flip it inside out so the dirt is on the other side and tie it around my foot, hoping it should last me.

Putting on my converse I ignore the pain as I ride Aden to day-care. A bad feeling settles its way into my gut, call it intuition but I have a feeling this day is going to get worse.

* * *

**A/N – I know I am really late with this chapter but I found it so hard to write. I knew where it was going and what I needed to say just not how to say it. I'm not too sure how I feel about it but I hope you guys like it. This was one of those much needed chapters so I could move the story on.**

**So we find out who Little Miss Dakoda and Aden are related to. I didn't put in first names because she doesn't know them, but anyone who knows twilight knows who that last name belongs to. But alas do you know who the other brother is. Who is the man in that photo that made her squirm? What's Daniels story? A few people caught on to his last name.**

**Anyway like usual thank you for the reviews and yes I did get excited reading them =]. I much appreciate everyone's input it really helps me out and is good motivation. **

**So don't forget to ask questions they help me to and again what music did this make you listen to? I had a lot of Grizzly Bear on and few others. I will be putting some songs into this seeing as Koda is a guitar player so when I do ill put them in an A/N before the chapter so you can get them ready if you like. I will also be doing some different povs soon. If you would like to hear from a different character tell me which one and ill see what I can do.**

**Thanks again for reading this is my first story, I'm still trying to find my own writing style and hoping to get more dialogue in. So like I said 10 times already I like people's opinions ahaha. Man I'm annoying =D.**

**I already have chap 5 on the way. Oh yer and I'm going to put a warning at the top of one of my chaps soon things are going to get slightly graphic, but yer to end another rant keep it pimping and shizz =P.**

**=3 Until next time =p-Kaiottic-Rawr- **


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I got to school late, first period is nearly over. I had to try and brush of Miss A's questions at day-care and then run all the way to school whilst ignoring my throbbing foot. To say I've had a bad start to the day would be an understatement; my morning was filled with emotional roller-coaster's and I'm running on hardly any sleep. I didn't even get my guitar from Miss A I was in too much of a hurry.

Sighing I ran a hand through my hair. I might as well skip first period. I started walking towards the back of the library. I made my way around the building blocks, ducking under windows and maneuvering around trees. Making my way around the corner I smelt smoke. I knew who it was before I even sore them.

Daniel was sitting against the old wall, his head leaning on the discoloured bricks staring at the blue sky. He's wearing his black skinnies and cons with his favorite and very old gray Bob Marley t-shirt. His knees loosely bent with his arms resting on them, his cigarette simmering away in his right hand. He lifted the bud to his plump lips taking in a long drag then blowing the poisonous smoke into the air above. He dropped his arm back down flicking the ash onto the earth. He had a sad look in his eyes; his brows frowned deep in thought. He looked defeated, his eyes reflecting sadness.

I put my bag down and made my way over to him. He was too lost in thought to acknowledge my presence as I stood in front of him. I put my finger to his forehead and ran it down to his brow, trying to uncrease his fixed frown. He slowly relaxed and tilted his head to the side to look at me.

"You'll get wrinkles" I said with light humor. He smiled back at me lazily but it never went to his eyes.

"It'll give me some character" he replied.

"Well let's put it this way" I said with a smile. " I don't think the ladies are going to be all interested in looking at your pretty face when it's wrinkly, unless you're going for cougars but I mean they'd have to be pretty dam old cougars " He snorted giving me a sideways look.

"Your right, but hay look on the bright side, they will have some killer experience" He said wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Oh yeah" I laughed. "I guess having no teeth will be somewhat beneficial to you"

We both paused for a few seconds before giving each other disgusted looks and making gagging noises.

"Bad, bad, bad imagery" He mumbled while shuddering. I just laughed at him.

"You know you loved it"

He smiled up at me this time with a proper smile.

"Come sit" he said putting his cigarette out and grabbing my hand.

He pulled me to sit in between his legs my back leaning against his chest. We both just sat there a moment feeling each others embrace. I felt him sigh, the warm air like a feather on my neck making me shiver a bit. He chuckled lightly at my response.

"Shut up its ticklish" I grumbled. He just smiled at me.

"Whatever you say little Koala but you know I got the charm, just can't help it you know, it's natural" He said with a shrug just boosting his own ego.

"More like whatever _you_ say 'Mr. Goldilocks'" I said whilst tugging one of his blond dreads with my own smug smile, knowing how much he dislikes being called that.

"Ahhrg must you tarnish my last name with something so feminine" he pouted.

"Of course, sorry Sir, Mr. Whitlock Sir." I said with a two finger salute.

"Pfft no way am I my old man"

"Oh right sorry Goldilocks" I said ignoring his childish wine.

"I don't have girly locks" He argued.

"That's debateable"

"I have dreadlocks there all man, I swear"

"Yeah dread_locks_ that are golden" I retorted back. "Besides you never know Little Miss Goldilocks could be a Transvestite or hay better yet she could just be all man" Daniel laughed

"Imagine the surprise of Mama Bear when she found her eating Papa Bears porridge in baby bears bed" He said like he was reading a childrens book.

"Yeah also imagine her surprise when she lifts up the blanket and finds Gold's pitching a tent for daddy bear and Daddy Bear is bottom, aka coming back to the point she is all man, you're probably related you know" I said whilst tapping my chin in fake thought.

"So mean to your Big Uncle Daniel aren't you" He huffed behind me.

I just looked up at him and smiled.

"Just sharing the love" I said lazily before relaxing myself into his embrace feeling tired.

We both sat there quietly for a while, Daniel lost in thought and me half asleep using him as a pillow. The end of first period bell rang and I just grumbled curling myself more into Dan's embrace my legs now bent and hanging lazily over one of his, his arm wrapped around my waist as I lean into his chest hiding my face. I feel him drape his other arm over my legs and shuffle a bit getting more comfortable.

"No second period?" He asks.

"No" I mumble

"Yeah I can't be bothered either" He said before sighing again.

He sure has been sighing a lot, I know something's wrong but I thought I should give him some time to think. When he sighs the second time in one minute I give up on waiting.

"What's wrong?" I ask quietly with my eyes still closed.

I felt him shift a bit his arm moved away from my legs and then a light scraping noise. A few seconds later I could smell the smoke and felt his chest rise taking a drag. I discreetly turned my head into his jumper a bit more trying to avoid breathing it in too much. He blew the smoke away from me and mumbled a sorry.

"It's fine"

"Well..." he says making me look up at him.

I watch him as he stares of into the distance trees, the students' hustle and bustle trying to get to class playing in the background. He brought a hand up to rub his face before taking another drag of his cigarette, blowing it out slowly through his nose.

"It's his anniversary soon" he said in a sad tone his face emotionless.

His eyes unable to hide the truth he tries so hard to mask. Anger, sadness, regret just three of the many emotions lingering in his deep pools of blue.

"When?" I whispered lightly holding him tighter.

"A week from today" He mumbled.

I hummed in response. Daniels older brother David was four years older than Daniel; he died at the begging of Daniels freshman year before we met. The police called it suicide, an overdose, but Daniel disagrees. Whenever he speaks of David, it's always about how strong he was and how he never gave up. David was Daniels role model and even though he died he still looks up to him. He has never told me the whole story but I know he blames himself, he loves his older brother and his older brother loved him. From what I can tell they were really close.

Daniel is the joker, he is one of those people who hide behind the mask of happiness but I can tell, I think that's why we are so close because whenever he is down I can see what no one else can. You could call it a positive thing, intuition but when we first met Daniel hated it. I was seeing through his walls and he just wanted to forget. In the end he gave in and would come to me for consoling. We became really close after that. He comes to me for comfort; most times I don't ask knowing he would tell me if he wanted to. So a large part of our relationship is physical connection, having somebody to hold through the hard times and to rely on. That's friendship for you.

Brady has made certain comments here and there about how close we are for 'friends' but me and Daniel don't think anything of it because we just see it as us. Daniel see's other girls occasionally but it never lasts long and I don't think anything of it because at the end of the day we are still there for each other and everything is exactly the same. I love Brady and Daniel; I love them both in different ways I just don't know what that means. I'm not very good at deciphering my own emotions and don't understand a majority of them, so I just put it all down to what it must be like to love a family member because I wouldn't know what it was really like and guess this must be it.

Daniel let out a shaky breath his cigarette forgotten beside him. He was looking down at me with worry filled eyes.

"You and Brades won't ever leave me right?" He questioned

"Not if I have anything to do with it" I said with a sad smile.

I moved myself out of his embrace and he whined lightly. I kneeled in front of him and brought his head to my chest wrapping my arms around his body. He was frozen for a second before he melted into my hold wrapping his big arms around my body fisting his hands in my shirt and holding me tight. We stayed like that for several long moments then Dan pulled back and brought his hands into my hair pulling me down to kiss me lightly on the forehead.

"Thanks Koala" He said with a heartfelt smile.

I didn't say anything but gave him a soft smile back. He slipped his hands out of my hair as I leaned back to sit down. Our bubble was burst though because the moment I leant down I sat on my injured foot I had tried so hard to ignore.

"MOTHER FUCKER!" I hissed out falling back on my bum, grabbing my foot trying to relive the pain.

Daniel went from chilled to alert in 1.2 seconds.

"Shit! What the Fuck. Are you alright?" He said hovering over me.

"My foot" I groaned out.

He quickly looked towards my hands that were wrapped around my shoe.

"What did you do?" He asked leaning forward trying to move my hands for a closer inspection.

I didn't reply my eyes closed trying to will away the throbbing pain. Daniel grabbed one of my hands and managed to pry it away bringing his in its place.

"What the, whys it all-" he trailed of.

I opened my eyes to glance at him just as he removed his hand to inspect the wet substance. As soon as he sore the red he started freaking.

"Blood! It's Fucking blood!" He yelled. " SHIT! what were you thinking? Why didn't you say anything?Aww mannn" he said his voice filled with concern.

He quickly wrapped his hand back around my shoe applying pressure making me wine a bit whilst using his other to grab his phone out his pocket. I laid back my leg propped up on Dans lap hoping the insane throb would stop. Daniel pressed speed dial on his phone before shoving it on his ear wedging it between his shoulder and cheek then bringing his other hand down onto my still concealed foot.

"Hello" came the quiet voice from the phone.

"Hey Brades It's me, I-" Said Dan.

" DUDE were the hell have you been, Koda wasn't in my last class either, I tried texting you both but no one answered, DON'T frigen scare me like that man ." Said the annoyed voice of the Bradestar.

"SHUT UP FOR A SECOND! 1, 2, 3 First Aid Parade in the nurses office NOW, Pronto, chop chop, see you there." He said slamming his phone shut and shoving it in his pocket.

"Now you Miss are coming with me." He said lifting me up bridal style.

"Woah! I can walk you know" I replied slightly annoyed at being babied.

My foot did hurt like a Bitch but still I'm not one for babying. He just snorted.

"There is No way I'm letting you walk , your practically leaking an ocean, I don't think the school wants that on their floor and I don't want to be the reason for your blood loss."

I sighed talk about overreaction.

We made it to the nurse's office pretty fast without being spotted.

"Now that is what I call ninja skills" Boasted Dan while laying me down on the bed in the corner of the room. The bed slightly uncomfortable and cold the plastic cover crunching under me.

"Shut up and tell me why I'm here" said a voice behind the curtain making Danny and I both jump.

"Woah Buddy! Don't scare us like that" said Dan opening the curtain to reveal Brady.

He was standing there with an annoyed look on his face.

"You didn't even give me an explanation to why I needed to come here or anything, I had to tell the teacher I had _diarrhea_ do you know how _**embarrassing**_ that was" Brady sulked making me and Daniel laugh.

"Shut up!" he blushed giving us the evils.

His eyes softened once they landed on me though bringing the situation back to the small problem of my foot leaking a so called ocean.

"Stop being a creeper and come in" said Dan pushing Brades foreword and closing the curtain behind him.

They both came over to the bed and Daniel started untying my shoe. I could feel my mushy sock as I wriggled my toes making some blood come out the hole in the side. That can't be good.

"Grose "I mumbled at the uncomfortable feeling.

"So...are you guys gonna tell me what's wrong?"Asked Brades, Daniel just shrugged.

"I dunno but Koalas foot is pissing some serious amount of blood hey" He replied finishing untying my shoe.

Brady walked over and held my ankle as Daniel pulled of my converse.

"FUCK!"I cursed the pain shooting through my foot.

I tried to kick them of but the boys were holding tight. I felt the cold blood trickle down my ankle and out the shoe leaving patches on the bed sheet. I gripped the pillow under my head as they both started examining the damage.

"That's so gruesome" Said Dan untying my drenched sock and holding it up to his face.

Brady just took it of him and through it in the trash successfully getting it in the bin. After that they both got to work on cleaning me up. Brady did most of it considering his Aunt is a nurse and she has been teaching him all different first aid saying 'you never know when you might need it'. She was right because he has been helping me and Dan patch ourselves up for a while. They got all the small glass out and the bleeding slowly stopped.

"You're lucky the cuts aren't too deep," Said Brady.

"Then why'd it bleed so much?"Asked Dan. Brady just shrugged.

"I dunno same way a paper cut can poor you a river"

My foot was wrapped up in some bandage after Brades made sure to put enough anti septic stuff on fussing over making it clean and all I could do was try and kick him away that shit stings. Once done they both just kinda looked at me expectantly but I had no idea why.

"What?"

They both gave me a quizzical look like 'really you need to ask' but obviously I did otherwise I wouldn't have. After a long moment of silence Daniel broke it by finally speaking.

"What happened?"

Oh offcourse that's what they would want to know. I just shrugged.

"Nothing major just stepped on some glass on accident"

And it was true, It was a accident.

"Nothing major ,your foot was just bleeding with glass still in it and dirt as well but hey man shit happens no worries" Said Daniel sarcastically. I huffed.

"Seriously it was nothing, don't worry about it, I was just in a hurry to get out of the house and didn't have time to put my shoes on hence the glass and the dirt. I didn't want to make a big deal over nothing so I just left it."

"Koda" Brady sighed rubbing his face. "It's not nothing, that shit can get infected, besides it must hurt and walking around on it sure won't do it any good. The fact you rode to the day-care _and_ walked to school with it like that is crazy. Just make sure you tell us next time, we care you know." Daniel just nodded along beside him.

I really didn't like to cause a fuss but the way they are looking at me now wishes I told them earlier. I guess I would have but I was caught up in trying to make Daniel happy and that's more important to me. Feeling bad I mumbled a sorry and they both gave me soft smiles in return.

"On a lighter note" Daniel said with a grin. "Your gonna have to put this back on" he held up my con by the shoelace all dirty and grose.

I couldn't help but cringe and groan aloud pulling the pillow over my face. They both just laughed obviously entertained by the idea.

"Come on koala we don't want you walking around school with only one shoe now do we"Said brady with a smartass grin.

"You guys suck!" I grumbled into the pillow.

"Nah that's just Brades" Dan retorted.

I couldn't help but laugh as Dan and Brady started a mini resling match on the floor. Dan kept on throwing out more lines like 'Woah Brades take me on a date first' and 'You only want me for my body don't you'. This just making Brady reply with 'Sorry I don't like pussy's' and 'Goldilocks's feminine body just doesn't cut it'. The use of Dan's hated nickname made him pout and stop to wine. In the end we were all laughing.

Finally getting my shoe back on after many attempts and lots of amused laughter and snorts from the boys we decided to head to class. I made sure to take some pain med's on the way out hoping that would help at least a little. I hobbled my way to English with slight help from Brades and a promise to see you later from Goldilocks.

The lesson seemed to drone on and I could feel a head ache coming on, slight pain forming behind my eyes most likely from my lack of sleep. I rested my head on the cool desk for the rest of the lesson Brady nudging me whenever I fell asleep keeping me in a semi awake state. The bell finally rang to signal lunch. I was fortunate to not have died of boredom but had to hold in a grown at the loud noise ringing around the building. Quickly grabbing my stuff Brady and I made our way to the cafeteria. I slumped into my usual seat and didn't hesitate on getting comfy, ready for a decent snooze while Brades just bee lined it to the canteen.

I opened my eyes at the noise of someone sitting down in front of me only to be assaulted by the cafeterias white walls making my head hurt. Brady sat there smiling happily at his mountain of food. I swear that kid eats more and more every day.

"you going to eat something?" He asked pulling his eyes away from his food for a second to look at me.

"I didn't have time to make anything" I mumbled into the table leaning on my folded arms.

"Well did you have breakfast?"

I just shrugged my shoulders. There was only enough food for Aden's breakfast and lunch. God knows what I'm going to do for dinner.

"Here have some of mine you gotta eat something" He said pushing a sandwich over to me.

I always feel bad when Brady or Daniel give me food because I know I can't repay the favour.

"It's ok I'm not that hungry" I lied

"I don't care take this"

I just sighed.

"It's ok Brades I'm not that hungry besides we all don't have a massive appetite like you" I joked trying to keep it light.

"Sup-Ooh free food" Said Dan as he plopped himself down next to me.

"Thanks Brades I'd love some" He said reaching over with a cheeky grin.

"Hell no!" Said Brades hitting his hand away.

"What, awww this is plain favouritism I tell you, don't you love me anymore Bradestar?"He whined with a fake sad face.

"It's not favouritism you just don't deserve it Goldilocks" He snorted. "Besides why would I ever love you?"

Daniel faked hurt.

"How can you even say such a thing, you said you loved me last night. So, you really did only want me for my body" He said pretending to wipe a tear.

"Yep sure did" Brades said causally popping the p.

"So you like my body?" Said Dan back to his normal voice.

"W-what no, I was joking, god no" He said blushing lightly trying to play it of cool.

Dan just laughed he loves making him feel uncomfortable.

"Anyway, as I was saying Koda you need to eat something and hay I can't help it. I'm getting hungrier and hungrier each day; I think it's in the genetics. Some guys back home in La push eat like truckloads of food yet they look like they are on steroids it's ridiculous."He said waving his hands up in the air.

"So here eat" He said pushing the sandwich at me again.

I was still stuck at the La push part. I forgot Brady was from that tribe. I ignored the sandwich and looked at him for a moment. He just waved it in front of my face.

"Hello anyone home?"

"La push" I whispered.

"Huh yeah La push, that's where I'm from. Pretty sure we established that a while back"

I took the sandwich from him and stared at it blankly for a few moments.

"Yo Koda your meant to eat it, Like this" Said Dan taking a huge exaggerated bite of his role.

I began to slowly rip it into small chunks an eat it, forgetting about my whole protest too lost on the fact Brady is from La push. Meaning he has lived there his whole life. Meaning not only could we be somewhat related he might know my...brothers. It sure feels awkward thinking of them as brothers and not strangers.

"La push?" I asked quietly again feeling the need for reassurance.

"Mmmhmmm" He replied with a mouth full of food.

"I-I" I stumbled not sure if I wanted to mention it.

I always feel like when you say something a loud it's like admitting it and makes the reality hard to ignore. I opened and closed my mouth a few times like a fish not too sure of myself. They both gave me curious looks Dan raising his eyebrow at me. I took a deep breath and pulled my long sleeves down into my hands, hugging my arms around my body.

"I found out were my dad is from..." I stated quietly looking at the cracks in the table.

They both stopped chewing and looked at me. I felt really uncomfortable. They didn't say anything though and let me continue.

" I accidently found some old documents and pictures of my dad's this morning..." I pulled one arm away from my body keeping my eyes down and traced the cracks with my finger.

" I knew he was native and...I found out what tribe he is from"

It was silent for a few moments the sounds of the cafeteria in the background.

"He is Quileute" I said somewhat numbly not sure how to feel.

I heard someone choking and looked up to see Brady hitting his chest coughing a bit before settling down again.

"Quileute? " He said slightly out of breath looking at me.

I just nodded dumbly back not sure what else to say.

"So like that makes you part Quileute. Meaning your pops is from La push just like Brady." Daniel said stating the obvious. "Hmmmm Interesting" He shrugged and went back to eating his food.

I have to love the fact he doesn't make big deals about things. Well most the time, this morning he was overreacting, well I think so anyway. I started eating away at my sandwich again trying to ignore the pressuring look Brady was giving me as the cogs turned in his head. His stare was making me uncomfortable and I hadn't realised id shuffled closer to Dan cowering slightly until he looked at me through the corner of his eye and leaned over to smack Brady in the arm.

"Cut it out Brades" He said sternly sitting back down next to me and casually flinging his arm over my shoulder pulling me into his side a bit.

"Oh sorry" Said Brades sheepishly.

I know Brady would never hurt me but that look held some form of hostility and I couldn't work out who it was towards. I don't think I should mention that I also have two brothers now seeing as I'm not too sure I want to admit that to myself just yet. Everything seeming somewhat serial and the fact I still have a bad feeling about today not putting me at ease.

We stopped outside of the males' bathroom on our way to art and waited for Dan to go and do his thing. I stood awkwardly staring at the ground still not sure of Brady's feelings.

"I'm sorry" his soft voice sounded in front of me.

I looked up at him, his tall frame towering over me slightly. If it was anyone else I might have been intimidated but it isn't its Brady.

"I didn't mean to look at you like that... its just-I-well...I was mad" I felt slightly hurt at the fact he was mad at me but he must have seen it and quickly reassured me.

"Not at you, God of course not at you. I just mean...your dad and my dad they both turned out like well" He sighed. "You know what I mean"

He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and looked upset. I knew what he meant. They both turned out fucked up.

"I just worry you know, I never want to be like them ever...but what if it's in the genes. I don't want to just snap someday" He said his voice full of worry.

I grabbed his hand and tugged on it lightly bringing his attention back on me.

"It's ok Brades your _nothing_ like them and you _never_ will be. You are the sweetest, kindest person I know and nothing will every change that. Just because you have the same genes doesn't mean anything. If that were true the whole population of La push would be royaly fucked but it's not and you're not. So don't worry about it okay" I said with a reassuring smile.

He pulled me into a big hug my feet dangling of the floor.

"Thanks" He said into my shoulder a big smile on his face.

"Group Hug!" Shouted Dan before squashing me between both boys any unhappy emotions forgotten.

I couldn't help but laugh as I'm squished between these two growing men. I feel content in this little moment between the two people I care deeply about. It feels...right. They both put me down only to let Brady scruff my hair making me grumble playful and punch him in the arm.

"Now little miss that is no way to treat your friends" Said Dan with fake authority.

I scoffed at him.

"Whatever 'Goldilocks'" I air quoted breaking out into another smile as his face drops slightly.

"Thats it!" He yells playfully.

I laugh and turn ready to run but Brady stops me.

"I don't think so Koala, I think my arm is bruising" He said rubbing the spot I punched him in fake hurt.

I tried to side step him but not fast enough as Dan comes and throws me over his shoulder.

"Woah!" I yell for the second time today.

"Put me down Goldilocks" I said punching his back.

He just laughed at me and continued walking towards class. Brady in toe, holding my bag and trying to stifle laughter as I squirm trying to get free, only bringing more attention to myself from the people around me. Deciding on a new tactic I start tickling Daniel. At first he seems unfazed but after a while the twitching , then awkward body movements and in the end he is laughing trying to keep me up and looking like he is doing the most ridiculous dance ever invented. In the end he gives up putting me down and trying to regain his breath, Brady laughing something about youtube and me getting use to the blood circulating my head again. After a few more moments of gaining composure Daniel looks up at me devilishly. Oh no.

I make a brake for it to the class, forgetting about my sore foot and smiling, thinking some things in life aren't too bad.

Or so I thought.

Sitting in Art class we have all calmed down after our little episode in the corridors. Daniel and Brady raced after me to class and both practically ran into the door frame, then just kept walking like nothing ever happened making me stifle all kinds of laughter. The class went on as usual, we all joked around quietly making doodles on each others art work but I still had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind.

"Miss Dikoda" Came the voice of my Art teacher Mrs Lee. I looked up from my work to see her staring down at me in her paint covered overalls.

"Yes Ma'm" I replied. She glanced over a note in her hand before handing it to me.

"I told you to call me Mrs Lee, ma'm is so formal" she said with a smile. "Someone from the office just came by; apparently your father is waiting for you at the front desk"

My stomach dropped , the smile wiped clean of my face.

"huh"

* * *

**A/N-I'm terrible I no, hate me I'm so evil, waiting so long to update im a few weeks late infact. So sorry ive been really busy with Tafe and finding a job I haven't had time to just sit down and whenever I did my mind kept on wondering to this other story I'm starting to write. The next chapter will most likely have a warning on it so beware. **

**What music did this make you listen to/think of?**

**What do you think? Good , bad,love,hate. Hit me up.**

**Thank you allllllllll for your lovely reviews, they still get me all excited and make me go all gooey inside lol. Like usual don't hesitate to ask questions they help me and so do your opinions, good or bad.**

**So now Daniels last name is out there proudly, hopefully the people who didn't pick up on it before will now and lets hear what u have to say =]. Also you found out a bit of Daniels background and hear some of Brady's insecurities, what do you think?**

**Ok sooo when will they meet there relatives. SOOON! I'm sorry its taking forever but im trying to give it a good back story to start it all up. Anyway a few twists and turns to come in the next few chaps so keep ur mind open and such. Also I tried to add more dialogue in this one so hope its ok.**

**=3 Until next time =3 -Kaiottic-Rawr-**


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I walked down the empty corridors nothing but the sound of my feet to keep me company. It felt like everything was in slow motion, the walls slowly closing in. I felt claustrophobic. My body language had already changed as I shrunk into myself, shoulders hunched and head down; I could already feel the tension in the air. My surroundings blurred as the colours mixed together, my focus solely on the approaching building and my impending doom.

I stopped outside the office doors wiping the sweat off my palms, onto my jeans, stalling just that little bit longer. Taking a deep breath I quickly open the door before my nerves got the better of me. The warm office air blew past me, the smell of old books engulfing my senses, but even still I knew he was here, a faint tobacco, stale vomit and alcohol smell lingering close by. The office lady glanced up over her glasses spotting me standing awkwardly in the doorway.

I had a million different thoughts running through my head at once, something that seems to be becoming a hobby of mine. It all came back to 3 questions; Why is he here? What does he want? And how bad is this going to hurt?

A grunt from the other side of the room reminded me of my place and I stayed silent.

"Come here dear" Said the nice lady.

She beckoned me over and I walked towards her keeping my eyes trained on the desk in front of me.

"Now dear I need you to sign this and write down what class you were just in."

I wrote down my class details and proceeded to sign my name at the bottom. I pushed the paper towards her as a large hand clasped down on my shoulder making me flinch. The hand squeezed my shoulder tightly in warning and I made sure not to show any signs of discomfort.

"Hello Buttercup, how are you today?" Said Sir in his deep-play-nice tone only making my stomach feel even sicker then it already was.

I detested that nickname; he only uses it when he needs to come across as loving to keep up his nauseating caring father facade.

"Good Sir, how are you?" It came out confident, inside I was anything but.

"I'm fine, just another normal day for your _father_" He squeezed my shoulder tighter exaggerating the word father and I realised I'd called him Sir in front of company.

He kept his tight grip making me gulp and I tried hard to refrain from letting out a wine as I felt his fingers bruising my skin.

"That's good" I said with fake enthusiasm hoping he'd notice my effort and release his tight grip.

He didn't.

"Now Mr Uley sign here and then your free to go" Said the lady with a smile on her face blushing lightly as I caught her looking at him appreciatively.

Disgusting, maybe I should vomit on her.

Sir smiled back, signing it quickly not loosening his grip and handed it back to the office lady. He had a big fake smile plastered on his face in attempt to make her swoon. It worked.

"Have a nice day dear." She said to me with another warm smile and waved at my father. He gave her a wink making her blush all the more.

She has no idea.

"Come on Buttercup, let's get out of here" said sir casually leading me out of the building.

The bad feeling in my stomach had doubled, tripled and now quadrupled. I glanced back over my shoulder at the nice lady working reception. This would be my last chance to scream for help, but instead of kicking up a fuss, running inside and locking the doors I kept walking. Turning my head on the last bit of refuge I could of had. Why didn't I say anything? I couldn't. Why couldn't I? Because in the end I hated them. I'm a tainted child why would they care? If I was meant to be saved it would have happened a long time ago. If I wanted help why didn't it come all those late nights I stayed up crying, with fear of my life? Why didn't it come when I needed it? Someone to stop the pain, the beatings...but no one ever came, no one stopped the beatings. No one helped me. No one came to my rescue.

I never got a fairytale knight in shining armour like in all the books I read as a child. No one rescued me then, so why would they now. Everyone is so stuck in their own world they don't open there eyes to the world around them. People see what they want to see. People are selfish, they don't want to know and they don't truly care. No one wants to know about the bad things. What about all those times I've been to the hospital for falling down the stairs? You think someone would get suspicious, but no, no one asks questions or bats an eyelid.

Ignorance is bliss.

And so in the end I don't want their help, I turn my back on them as they have on me. If I want to survive there is only one person I can truly rely on and that is myself. I managed so far so why not now. Sir pushed me hard into the side of the beat up red Ute.

"Get in." He grunts with demand.

I hissed quietly to myself as I pulled away from the metal and rubbed my wrist where it had jammed awkwardly. Without giving myself too much time I open the door and got into the old vehicle.

Just like my 'father' the car smelt of stale beer and cigarettes, it was suffocating. I was only glad when sir decided to open his window, mumbling something about breathing in the same air. The floor was covered in trash and the seats were a bit worse for wear but sir didn't even blink an eye. Living in his own filth isn't new to him. I sat there quietly fiddling with my fingers, cowering as far as I could into the door; wondering if I should jump out now and get this over with. But offcourse those thoughts were quickly smothered when I remembered my little brother at day-care playing happily with his friends.

I glanced out of the corner of my eye and noticed Sir's tense state. His knuckles were white from griping the steering wheel and I could practically feel his animosity. The silence scared me more than the yelling. It was like waiting for a volcano to blow. You can't tell when it's going to happen or how bad it is going to be. Will you suffocate in the thick black ash or burn from the smouldering lava? Either way it surly isn't anything to look forward to.

My 'father' like most Native Americans has his russet skin and black hair. He looks quite young for his age and has a set of deep brown eyes that are practically black. He usually wears dirty torn jeans and plain shirts. There's nothing eye catching about him yet woman seem to love his rugged look. Little do they know it reflex's his nature. He is pretty tall, a good 6ft 2, making me seem even more insignificant in his reflection. I don't really have many of his traits. I know I have his birth mark which is right above his belt line as is mine. It's not big, about the same size as a 20c coin in the shape of a strawberry. Its tone is tanned compared to my normal white complexion were as Sir's is white to his brown.

Sometimes I wish it was never there so I could pretend I was never born from such a man but other times I'm glad it's there to prove to me that I really am of blood. I'm his, so he has an obligation to love me...or I wish. He is a horrible father but he is mine and I am his. Nothing can change that. That gives me conflicting feelings but in the end all I want to do is make him love me, yet I hate him...it really is warped.

Before I knew it the car slammed to a screeching halt in our drive way, yanking me forward against the seat belt. Sir jumped out the car and slammed his door shut with such force I thought it would fall of the hinges, making me jump and quickly scramble out after him. As I got out the car I noticed 2 things, 1-There was another car in our drive way and 2- The front door was practically hanging off its hinges. I took a shaky breath.  
He is mad...  
Not just mad, he is furious...  
Walking slowly into the house I glanced at the door again internally cringing at its condition. The chances were slim to none that I would get of easy but I could still dream.

As I stepped fully into the fresh hold a hand gripped the back of my head with so much force I let out a whimpered cry before feeling my whole body be pushed to the ground. I smacked into the floor face first .Pain shot straight up my face and into the back of my skull as it throbbed intensely. I opened my eyes, everything was blurry and I could feel the blood pooling into my mouth as it flows from my nose. Not even giving me time to adjust to the pain level I was lifted up by my collar and the back of my shirt. I could feel the air choking out of my lungs as my whole body weight pushed against the material limply. The air rushed back into my lungs for a split second only to be knocked out of me again as I hit the wall. My body slammed into the wall sideways and slid down with a thud to the ground.

My whole side was in pain as I attempt to sit up gasping for air. It came out as a gargled cry as Sir's foot collided into my stomach leaving me wheezing on the floor gagging on my own blood. My whole body ached and begged for unconsciousness. I could feel my eyes drooping as my brain pounded into my skull.

"Don't even think about it!"Spat Sir furiously, his voice breaking through the turmoil.

He fisted the collar of my shirt and heaved me of the ground banging me up against the wall. My eyes burned and ached as I forced them open. I was looking directly into his eyes. My whole body shivered in fear at the intensity of his stare. I could see all the disappointment and disgust as he looked back into mine.  
There was no love, no pity, no sign of relenting, only pure hatred.  
In that moment I knew.  
In that moment I realised, I wasn't coming back from this the same person. He has looked at me with such emotions before but it's different. I could feel it in my bones, under the aching pain of my muscles, I could feel it. This was it.

"I TOLD YOU!"He said punching his fist into the wall beside my head.

Some splintered wooden bored flicked into my eyes making me squirm against his hold.

"LOOK AT ME!"He yelled, smacking me up against the wall again leaving an imprint of my head in the surface.

I felt the familiar warm liquid creep down the back of my head adding a sting to the continuous throb. I gripped his hand holding me up trying to give myself air to breath. I lifted my gaze to his face as it distorted before focusing again. I felt like I had a bag of sand on my head as it lolled around not being able to keep it up right.

"I SAID TO NEVER, EVER GO IN MY ROOM, YOU HEAR ME!"He growled.

"I-I.. .w-en-"I rasped out.

"**DON'T** YOU LIE TO ME!"Sir screamed cutting me of throwing me to the ground.

I landed with a bang as the furniture around me rattled. I groaned curling into myself hoping for some form of shielding.

"You not only went into my room, you went through my things." He hissed into my ear.

I looked up at him towering over me. How did he know? I couldn't think what to say. It was true, I did. Not on purpose but I'm not willing to bring Aiden into this.

"I-I'm sorry" Was all I could say.

"Sorry" He scoffed.

"Don't fucking lie to me Bitch!"

He pulled something from his pocket and shoved it in my face. I leaned my head back to see what it was.

"Is this what you were looking for? a fucking picture!"

There was a beautiful lady on a swing, her smile was so warm so bright, for a moment I forgot my own misery. Her beautiful blonde hair blew in the wind as her ocean blue eyes so much like my own shone. A sense of familiarity washed over me like recalling a memory but I didn't get enough time to pick why as the image was ripped from my sight.

"What else did you see ,huh!"He said getting up in my face.

"Nothing, I saw nothing" I said in an eerie calm voice.

Something strange started to wash over me, like a stream of cold water slowly engulfing me head to toe. All of a sudden I couldn't hear anything but muffled noise, it was like I had my whole body underwater and the cool water was flowing into my skin and muscles soothing the aches and pains. I could see Sir talking but couldn't hear anything and for the first time in my life, I had a moment of bliss, like peacefully floating on my back down a river in summer, just watching the world go by without a care in the world. It was amazing. The moment was interrupted when I felt to lines of pain shoot down my back. It wasn't unpleasant pain, but unusual, I had the sudden urge to stretch. I must have done something odd because I was pulled back into reality by a loud crack, like a whip. I looked up at Sir but didn't see a whip or source of the noise but ignored it as there was a good chance I was delusional. I didn't even know if I was still conscious at this point or just dreaming.

Sir starred at me in shock, then understanding, then anger again.

"Bitch" He yelled as he grabbed me again pulling me along by my jumper.

"Already your mothers fucking daughter now are we."He said glaring into my face.

I just scowled at him. I didn't even know my own mother but for some reason I felt like there was something scratching in my mind to get out at the thought of her.

"Just cause you look like her doesn't mean you're anything like her."

"What happened to her?"I asked accusingly for the first time in years.

I don't know what it was but for some reason Sir looked taken back by my question. I felt somewhat confused myself. I don't even know where that spout of bravery came from. It was almost like somewhere, a part of me was yearning to speak up, break free, but from what?

"What did you just say?" Sir asked in disbelief.

"I said, what happened to her dipshit!" I cocked my head to the side giving him a glare of my own.

I didn't even register thinking before I said that. Where did that come from? I frowned at myself. It was almost like it wasn't me speaking. It just came out, yet at the same time that was exactly what I wanted to say but fear got in the way. Sir just looked at me obviously taking in my frown before letting out a loud laugh.

"What a time to let out some of your fucking blood line child"

I looked at him confused. Blood line?

"Not that you deserve my blood running through your veins." He said in a cold voice.

I ran my tongue over my teeth before spitting blood all over Sir's face.

"How's that for my blood" I said with an just as cold voice.

I felt confident. I felt strong and most of all, I felt unbeatable. The aches were gone, only numbness remained. It was almost like I was on drugs, the adrenaline running through me fool force. I looked down at myself in wonder, flexing and un-flexing my hands. I don't know what is happening but it felt like nothing I have felt before. But as fast as it started it began to fade. Draining out of me and bringing the pain back full force. My shoulders blades still held a light stinging burn.

I dropped to the floor and gasped as I held myself letting out an distressing groan. My emotions returned to normal as did my rationality. What have I done? Dread filled me. I looked up at Sir who was already standing over me fuming. I didn't get time to process anything as I was lifted up again. This time though I caught my footing and tried pulling myself away. Sir was leading me past the couch and towards the old glass stained coffee table in the middle of the room. My eyes widened in shock as I realised what he was about to do and in a last haste attempt I struck him where it hurts with as much force as I could muster.

'_If you're desperate you can always really on one thing, Kick them were it hurts' Said Daniel smiling down at me. He winked at me ' let's not test that one out on your poor uncle though okay' he said with a laugh covering his groin._

Sir let go of me so fast I stumbled. He bent over holding himself as he let out a chesty groan. I turned around to run but was stopped when a pair of arms wrapped around my body holding me still defiantly. The arms pressed against my bruised and beaten body leaving me grunting in pain as I tried to find my last bouts of energy to get free.

"Well looky what we have here, why haven't you grown" Came a southern drawl.

* * *

**Authors note:  
Well, well, well...It's only been about 2 years sinse I last updated.**  
**I don't even remeber what led me astray from this story anymore but I got a review the other night and I re-read my story only to think I really need to work on my grammar and spelling haha(**  
**So I have decided to fix it up and continue it. It would take to long to re-write so I'll just keep what I have and patch it up hear and there.**  
**One of my friends has been lovely and said yes to being my beta and going over it for me. Hopefully this keeps me on task and I can have someone to help me keep the my muse alive.**  
**I do still remember where I wanted this to go and such so hopefully its not to hard to do =]**  
**This Chapter has actually been sitting on my computer for the last 2 years so I decided to go over it and put it up before I work on the next one.**  
**So sorry for the really late update but I hope you like it.**  
**Don't forget Read and Review, they always kept me inspired before =]**  
**Until Next time Kaiottic-Rawr**


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